We were created for relationship. God created us to have relationship with Him. Because of this we were created with a desire to know and be known. So then why is that sometimes it is so incredibly difficult to allow ourselves be known? Anyone else ever feel like being known is a bit on the scary side? I know it is for me.
I have spent most of my life being really great at knowing people. I love listening to people and hearing their stories about where they came from and where they are heading and what they are thinking and feeling. I suppose this is a good thing since I work in the social services world and often am hearing people’s stories. I am great at sitting with people as they tell their love story, and as they tell me about the times of great hurt and pain. I know people and help them to feel known.
Now, when it comes to being known, that is a much different story. I don’t let myself be known. Logically this makes sense, girls are mean and catty right? Growing up we saw girls betray one another over nothing. You could tell your best friend all of your deep dark secrets but if you got in a fight there was this chance she would tell everyone your secrets and you would be embarrassed. Not only would everyone know your secrets, they would tease you about this and make life even more difficult. Or, you would tell a friend something about yourself, you know, be known and they would decide they do not like you anymore. Growing up I am sure we all saw a version of this, if you can’t picture what I am talking about, watch Mean Girls, it may be a bit overdramatized but its a pretty accurate visual. So then the question is, is it worth possibly losing a friend over? What would happen if this got out? How will I hold it together if in the process of allowing myself to be known I lose all my friendships and am all alone? I know I am not the only one that has these thoughts sometimes. I am known to the point which feels safe, always at arms length, or well whatever length I decide is safe in that moment. Recently, I had this strange thought that maybe I should make an effort to be known, which was followed by a sense of dread. Ever have a thought to do something that creates a intense sense of fear? I know this sense of dread, it comes when I am put in a small group (it goes away sometimes, after awhile). Do you ever feel like being known is just not worth the effort, or the risk. I am a pro and con list kind of person, and often the cons of being known don’t logically outweigh the pros. But maybe the pros don’t outweigh the cons because I don’t truly understand them. Maybe I don’t know their full value. So the question is being known worth facing the dread?
Normally, I would say, nope! not worth it at all. But recently something in me thinks maybe it is, maybe I have allowed lies from the enemy to effect my thinking on this. Maybe, the enemy wants us to be afraid of being known because that is somewhere that God moves, something God used to heal and grow us and as long as we run away or avoid it we are missing out and not reaching the fullness of who God has called us to be. Trust me, its not just you that I am saying those things for. I am right there, asking the questions because I too need the answers. As I ask the questions, I am going to tippy toe my way into being known, to trust others with all of who I am, and what I think. Would you like to join me and begin the journey into being known? I know it will not be easy, and there will probably be some more blogs along the journey as I stumble my way through being known, but I invite you to join me in this journey. Will you join me?